Mariposa Mamá

It is my hope that a big chunk of your motivation lies within the love for your kids.  Many parents have done astounding accomplishments due to the motivation of creating a wonderful life for themselves and their children.  I’ve heard of teenage mothers who were motivated to get their GED, go on to college and get a higher education.  They wanted to be an example for their children.  Now I firmly believe we should already have that motivation for ourselves, however, doing it for our children only adds fuel to the fire, which is a positive thing.  When you think of your children, what are you inspired to do?

I’m inspired and motivated to find my dream career and earn enough money so that my son and I can have a home of our own.  I want a backyard for him and a treehouse.  I want him to live a full and happy life and he is my muse in life!

I wanted to tell you about the zine a group I’m in, Young Women United put out.  It prepares a space where women can share their voice through writing, creative writing, spoken word, poetry, artwork or anything creative that can be put on paper.  These ladies have put together an incredible zine that is a collective of Revolutionary Mom voices.  I just finished writing my breastfeeding story that is special to me.  If you or anyone you know would like to share their voice, let me know.  We are taking submissions from around the world!

So this is motherhood… I contemplate to myself at 4:30 in the morning, breastfeeding my baby.  The baby rarely wants to eat at this time of night, however, he’s feeling pretty sick so breastfeeding helps him boost his immunities, comfort him and help him feel better.  So there I am, feeding him longer than usual as he’s feeling kind of grumpy and achy.  I think about my paper in the next room, waiting for me.  I’m working on a research paper and was on a roll.  Taking this small break to tend to my son breaks me from that roll.  As I sit there, in the early morning, thinking about my large assignment that needs my writing, I realize… so THIS is motherhood.

It’s not that bad.  When I was pregnant I thought this sort of thing would make me cry.  Instead I’m here blogging about it.

Nothing quite compares to being a mom.  I absolutely, without a doubt, LOVE being a mom.  My heart is so filled with joy when I see my baby, that I realize why mothers have been revered throughout the ages.  Because of the incredible unmatching bond and love we have with our children.  When I tuck him in bed at night I am struck by just how lucky I am to be his mother, and to have him in my life.

I thank God for bringing him into my life and feel so blessed that *I* can be part of this movement called Revolutionary Motherhood.  Mothers are incredible people.  Have you ever read that poem about just how much we are willing to give to be a parent, yet somehow, miraculously, receive WAY more back in return.

How does that work?  It’s just love, I guess

Although many moms working in the nonprofit field and such alike tend to have degrees, not all do.  I highly encourage you to attain a higher education.  Sure the money is better when you have a degree, but that is not why I encourage you.  In a higher learning setting you learn more than just your concentration.  You learn about the world around you.  If you take women’s studies courses, you can learn more about your culture as a female.  If you’re a woman of Color, you may be like me and really enjoy American Studies courses that broadened my horizons when it came to my fellow people of Color.  Even if you enjoy math, do it.  You deserve to give that brain a workout, inspire your mind and do something really amazing.  Best of all you are being an excellent example to your children to one day attend college themselves.

I like Ghandi’s quote: Be the Change you want to see in this World.

A couple of days ago I wrote about the importance of eating healthy and freshly prepared meals.  If you’re like me, you’re tempted to buy food that can be easily microwaved so you can take it and go and the baby isn’t fussing and waiting while you cook a meal.  I admit, cooking a healthy fresh meal is very difficult with you got a baby hanging on your leg.  While a Moby wrap may work for some in this situation, I highly discourage it if you are cooking in the stove as the baby can get hurt.

I’m not a big fan of high chairs, but you can use one to keep the child safe.  When they are of toddler age, sit them down at the table in a regular chair and make sure they have enough to keep them entertained.  I’ll usually toss a few foods in a bowl like shaved turkey, wheat crackers, cheddar cheese and banana.  He plays and eats these while I cook.  Of course this doesn’t keep his attention forever so I’ve learned to hand him (safe, of course) kitchen utensils to play with.  He loves pressing the buttons on my timer and stirring the food in his bowl with a whisk.

Be creative and use that time to let him have fun while you prepare a yummy meal.

As a single mom myself I often hear single moms referred to as “amazing”.  I don’t value my dating status as any more important than moms who are in relationships.  I also don’t want to be valued by that status or label.  Should married moms be labeled married moms by society? I don’t think so.  I say let our actions speak for us.  Each situation is different and it doesn’t mean someone is better than another because of it.  If you’re a single mom as well, I’m sure you’ve heard the pity talk.  Don’t pity me, I say.  Also, do not put me on a pedestal because of my relationship status.  All of us mamas are special and I hope we can all see the beauty in diversity.  What I do love, and value, is connecting with other single moms.  Its wonderful to have a community of loving sisters.

In order to surive, we need to eat.  In order to to maintain a somewhat healthy life, we must eat foods from the five food groups.  If we wish to THRIVE, we need to select healthy foods from the five foods groups.  In order to do the work we do as an activist and a mom, we need to take care of our cores and the cores of our little ones.

You should be eating and feeding your family whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies, lean meats, protein, poultry and legumes, dairy that is not high in fat content, and good fats like nuts, extra virgin olive oil and avacados.  Cook and prepare your food fresh for the best nutrition.  Prepackaged items contain preservatives and sodium, both of which can harm our bodies.   In order to get your sodium intake, use freshly ground sea salt on your food instead.

Take care of your family’s bodies.  You will all be able to live a more productive and wonderful life if you do.

Being a Mariposa Mamá means having a support system where not only are children accepted in certain environments, but they are welcomed with open arms.  We know the importance of our youth in today’s society and how their spirit must always be nurtured.  Sure, as moms we require spaces that are ours and ours alone for self empowerment.  However, moms can not deny the importance of their children in their lives and thrive in child friendly environments as well.

Chances are you are involved in a cause that strives for social justice.  Such get togethers should be family friendly.  After all, our families are our foundation.  Talk to your organizations and see if its possible to arrange for childcare and especially for an acceptance of bringing your child with you to functions.

For many of us who strive to change the world, we often find ourselves wanting to advocate for so many causes.  That’s great and when the opportunity arises, help your allies reach their goals.  However, in order to make a bigger impact, find the one area that is your true passion.  Is it working with youth?  Is it working with other moms?  Is it helping the environment?  Once you can locate which area is calling to you the most, then you can concentrate more of your energy and passion into making change especially in that area.  Amazingly enough, once you do concentrate on one area in particular, you will find that other issues are incorporated as well.  For example, if you want to work with women, you’ll find yourself also wanting to work on issues around race.  If you want a healthier future for our youth, then you’ll also want to concentrate on the environment.

No one said you have to be superwoman.  Find your passion and you will find you can make great change from there.