Mariposa Mamá

I’m currently a graduate student studying Bilingual Social Work.  There’s two areas I can work in, one being more of a clinical one-on-one area and the other being community organizing.  I have been a Jr. Community organizer ever since I can remember anyway, so this is naturally the path I’d like to go.  I’m still not 100% sure which population I want to work with.  I used to work with children all the time, in every single job I’ve done and I enjoyed that.  But now that I’m a mother I feel like I want to work with women.  I’m not biased toward only mothers so that is why I’m not sure if I should work in a mother/children sort of place.  I like working with women, mother or not, and children.  I’m hoping the place I love will just come to me.

So for my school, I need to do a field practicum, which is basically and internship.  I am trying to get mine at Young Women United, a group for women of Color.  I’ve always been a part of this group and I like it because it covers many areas pertaining to women, women of color, people of color and children, and any underprivilaged group, really.  If this goes through, which I’m pretty sure it will, then I want to work on the Revolutionary Motherhood ‘zine mentioned in a previous blog.

Wish me luck

One of my e-newsletters, I think this particular one was from BabyFit, mentioned “mommy resolutions”.  I thought that was kind of interesting.  I briefly scanned the article but one resolution that stuck out to me was having more patience for our children.  Being a single mother to a toddler can be nerveracking at times.  I also am an AP (Attachment Parenting) mom, so it means he always wants me.  Often my patience wears thin when I am trying to write a freelance article or a 30 page report for grad-school and he just wants to sit on my lap.  While it seems easy to do, when you are busy typing away with something important, its easy to get frustrated.  So this resolution makes me think I need to take a deep breath and try and work harder on being patient with him.

So, here’s a few of my mommy resolutions for ‘09, just off the top of my head:

1. Practice more patience (per babyfit’s suggestion)

2. Read more books to him

3. Teach him more Spanish and ASL

4. Play more

5. Make healthier meals

6. Be more active

7. More mama/baby baths

8. Fun space

9. Procrastinate less and do more

10. OH, this is a big one: Write down more memories!!!! and take more pictures!!!!

Sometimes the thought of all those children in the world hurting hurts me so much, I can’t stand it.  I feel so helpless when I think of little ‘ol me in this entire world who wants to save every single child.  It’s such an overwhelming feeling when you start thinking of all the children in danger.  I don’t care if it’s 1 or a 100 billion.  They all matter and they all deserve a safe and loving home.  Sometimes its the conditions they live in, like a third world country that affects their overall well-being.  Us in the US don’t know what that is like.  And sometimes its even US children who live with parents who shouldn’t even be allowed to parent or be near a child!  I wish I could save each and every single one of them, put every bad human being behind bars and reverse the conditions that cause poverty, malnurioushment, disease, dealth and HUNGER!  What I can do is keep up my activism work and hope it makes even the smallest difference.  I can also pray immensily for the well-being of all children.  I know God is listening and I send angels to guard the children of the world.  I also hope more people are inspired to do the same.

Extended breastfeeding (in the US) refers to breastfeeding your child past a year.  This is normal in most countries so they don’t call it extended breastfeeding, sometimes not even breastfeeding, just simply feeding the baby.  As if its the most natural thing to do.  I wish the US was  like this.  Sadly, it is not.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned the Revolutionary Moms Zine that gives voice to women of Color who are mothers.  I finally wrote my piece and I’d like to give you an exerpt of it.  I’m quite excited at my final result.

 “I’m a single mom and the emotions of it all hit me hard at times during the first couple of weeks.  The one thing that made the world stop and make me feel content and even happy was breastfeeding my child.  It is no exaggeration when you hear about the bond between a mother and her child during this special moment.  I felt as though only *I* could give him this wonderful gift and I felt so special.  The pediatrician made me laugh when she commented “Your milk must be ice cream” because he was gaining such a healthy weight.”

I’m glad I could share my personal story with the world and I hope some women can benefit from it

That is what has been going through my mind all week.  In my undergrad days I got high grades in class.   I was not a parent back then.  Now as a graduate student, I am a single mother.  I practiced attachment parenting since day one which includes breastfeeding, co-sleeping and baby-wearing in my Moby wrap.  What this means now is that the baby (toddler, really) is very attached to me, making it difficult to get my college work done.  I have a great family support system and they often take him in the evenings so I can get some work done.  My mom slept with the baby for two weekends in a row awhile back so I could finish my Policy paper.  It turned out to be 30 pages.  Well, I received an A+ on that and was told by my professor that I got the best paper in my entire class. More here: http://esecret.today.com/2008/12/09/no-way/

So all week I keep thinking WOW I thought I worked hard in my undergrad days when it was just me.  Now I’m responsible for this little life and for my own higher education and I got the best grade in the class.  Even as a single mother I did it!

My son is at the age (16m0) where he can take a bath with me.  I say this is the perfect age because he is old enough to know his basic water safety (and I am guiding him) and people might freak out with the prospect of a toddler and mom in the bathtub together.  Being the natural mom I am, I’m not one of those people.

I fill the bathtub with vanilla bubble bath and make sure its super warm (not hot).  I also turn the heater on high to warm up the bathroom.  I throw some bath toys in, like his light-up rubber duckie and his plastic lion, and a large measuring cup used for rinsing.  I also prepare the shampoo, baby wash and little towel in advance.  His hooded robe is also awaiting for drying off after.

In the tub we have fun with the bubbles and toys.  I am right there with him to make sure he doesn’t fall in or play with the knobs or stand up.  Safety is very important and taking a bath with your child not only ensures a high level of safety, but also a chance to bond and just have fun!

 After the bath, rinse up and get in your warm robe.  It’s also an effective way for a single mother to double-task.  Get both of us clean and take care of him the whole time.

Yesterday I bought the kids icecream and we headed to the park.  None of this was planned and this isn’t something we do on a regular basis. So it was a treat!  The kids with me were my 16mo old son and my 7 yr. old brother.  Well, we headed to the park somewhat near my home that has recently been revamped.  We sat on the top of a large, green hill and ate our icecream in the sunlight.  It was quite warm, even now in the Fall.

My little brother wanted to roll down the hill, so I got out my camera phone and videotaped him.  When he got back up I realized I really wanted to roll down too!  So he videotaped ME rolling down the large, green hill.  It was so hilarious, not to mention exhilerating, and it made us crack up laughing.

Life should be filled with these great moments all the time!

Doulas are such wonderful assets during labor.  If you are pregnant and in need of support during labor, then consider a doula.  Doulas are usually female and these ladies help you before, during and sometimes, after labor.  You create a birth plan with her about how you’d like your labor to go.  She is then your advocate during labor when you are breathing away and can’t talk.  She expresses your needs to the midwife or doctor so you don’t have to.  YOU are the one who creates that birth plan so she knows your wishes right away.  She’ll also give you massages, feed you icechips, and tend to your needs.  She also helps relieve family members of being stressed out, having to think about everything that is going on.  A doula brings the family a little more peace and makes labor an event that doesn’t have to something horrible as people make it out to be.